One revolutionary policy Dame made in order to help get over this barrier to entry goes radically against a key industry-standard: They accept returns. (Unbound accepts partial returns for used toys). “First of all, be proud of yourself for buying the toy.” Their policy changed after CEO Alexandra Fine and her co-founder reevaluated the reasons behind this industry standard, which claims that returns are unhygienic. But the more they thought about it, it became clear that other companies accepted returns despite their product being unhygienic to resell, like Casper mattresses and Thinx panties. “What that kind of policy is almost saying is, ‘Hey, your vagina is disgusting. Obviously, we can’t take returns.’ That in itself has shame built into it, and is counter to us creating a shame-free experience,” said Fine. “We want you to feel comfortable letting us know that something didn't work for you. Then, we can help you find something that does.” Still, even when we can get over all those initial walls of shame and finally buy a sex toy, it’s very normal to then face a whole other wave of shame while actually using it. But there are lots of ways to get past that, too.
“First of all, be proud of yourself for buying the toy,” said Lieberman. “Then, accept that your first few experiences may be awkward. I mean, what was your first experience of sex with another person like? You don’t know what you’re doing. It's a new technology that you're learning. It could even feel weird at first if you've never had something vibrating on your genitals. That's OK, too.” Try everything alone first, and on the lowest power setting first — possibly even over your panties or even a towel for clitoral stimulators. People vary on level of sensitivity. Mashable Image Vesper's a gorgeous necklace/vibrator confronts the sex toy taboo head-on. Scroll to end for a full review. Credit: Mashable Composite: Crave / Bob Al-Greene / MASHABLE Overall, one of the best pieces of advice I ever got while joining the sex toy revolution is to treat each new toy like a new sexual partner. Give yourself time to learn how it fits your body, or whether it’s a good match at all. View your early experiences as exploratory rather than setting the expectation to cum, which puts undue pressure on you and your new friend. And honestly, unless you’ve purchased from one of these new women, femme, and non-binary-led sex toy makers, do your best to ignore the marketing and promises on the packaging. Often, you’ll find images of scantily clad women that project a false picture of what masturbation looks like. In reality, it looks more like you in pajamas and a face mask.
Even more importantly, do not believe in the promises of an instantaneous, guaranteed, melt-your-face off orgasm. Again, every body is different, and it’s normal for something that works for most to not work for you. If you’re confused about how to use it (since many manuals are woefully lacking), educate yourself online with reviews that paint more vivid pictures. Many of the companies that are revolutionizing sex toys also provide well-written blogs and step-by-step guides for their toys. "Me Too let people — especially women — feel more comfortable expressing their need, their demand for sexual pleasure." Underlying the new sex toy revolution is a movement that believes pleasure and satisfaction should be a human right. Closely tied to that movement is another one that started in 2017, which finally allowed women to start talking about the ways sex made them feel ashamed, traumatized, and silenced. “The rise of talking about sexual assault from Me Too let people — especially women — feel more comfortable expressing their need, their demand for sexual pleasure,” said Lieberman. It’s deeply unsettling (perhaps even related) that, in the midst of this sexual wellness revolution, we’re seeing a vicious legal backlash trying to strip women of basic rights over their own bodies. Whether it’s challenges to Roe v. Wade, other increasingly restrictive abortion laws, or less access to birth control, “at the bottom of it all is people preventing women from having sex without consequence. It’s the belief that sexual pleasure isn't good in and of itself for women unless it’s to procreate,” said Lieberman.
While it might seem silly (and obviously, different forms of activism are needed to counteract these serious threats), there is power in reclaiming at least one form of control over your body by exercising your right to pleasure with a toy. “My suggestion is to just give it a try,” said Rodriguez. “I have yet to hear from someone who, after trying a vibrator, regrets it. It’s all about just giving yourself permission to explore — and you are the only one who needs to grant yourself permission, to say ‘yes’ to pleasure. Trust me, you deserve it. We all do.” Maude Minimalist, inexpensive, yet powerful, the Vibe’s exquisitely accessible design made it an instant hit for a reason. Its simplicity doesn’t sacrifice function, with a reputation for getting the job done fast. Able to be used externally or internally, it’s the most bang for your buck (and boy, does that buck go).
Huge Anal BeadsMystery Vibe A Swiss Army Knife of toys, this bendable, inclusive powerhouse justifies its price by letting you experiment in countless ways (their Playbook has some ideas). One con is its overwhelming app with a paralyzing amount of customization options. Like all Bluetooth-enabled toys, it drops connection often, so just preset your favorite patterns onto the vibe. Though I didn't try it, Unbound’s Bender might be a cheaper, simpler alternative for a similar concept. Crave Break the sex toy taboo with a gorgeous necklace that's also a pinpoint clitoral stimulator designed to get you off wherever and whenever you want. Wearing the Vesper turns your shame into an unapologetic pride. While not the most powerful, it's perfect for those nervous about introducing toys into partnered sex since unscrewing it from your necklace is sexier than fumbling for one in your bedside table. Dame
In a word: life-changing. The simple genius of the Fin is that it puts the power of a bullet between your fingers, making it seamless to use in any position during penetrative sex and one of the best toys for closing the orgasm gap. Despite access to countless other vibrators 4 times more expensive, I dubbed Fin “old faithful,” cause I could always count on it like clockwork to deliver a geyser-level explosion. Tango We-Vibe A personal favorite as my first vibe ever, the Tango’s been a classic, powerful, beloved bullet for years that's simple and gets the job done. If you're more sensitive to vibration, prefer the soft silicone feel, more fluttering sensation, or an adjustable tip, try Dame’s equally great Kip.
Womanizer Worst name for one of the greatest gifts to clitorises, this legend uses suction instead of vibration. Lining it up is tricky at first, but once I did, the orgasm ripped forth from my body in seconds along with an involuntary scream. No toy is a guarantee for all, but this is the closest and an alternative for those not jiving with vibing. Premium includes a quiet motor and autopilot mode perfect for newbies. But cheaper models don’t disappoint. We-Vibe Honestly, I wouldn’t recommend rabbits for beginners because they look intimidating, are a bit unwieldy to figure out at first, and often not all they’re cracked up to be. But since it’s one of the most popular and well-known types, I suggest one of the only ones I found with enough bend, power, and adjustability to provide the amount of clitoral stimulation needed for a variety of bodies. All products featured on GQ are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Dildo GagNo matter how adventurous you and your partner(s) are, the best sex toys for couples will bring some hot sauce to your coupled sex life. But we don't have to tell you that: The fact that you've landed here means you've blessedly evolved beyond the dusty, misguided notion that even the best sex toys for couples somehow mark you (or your sex life) as deficient. This is good. Even if your between-the-sheets time needs a kick-start, there's exactly zero shame bundled into using these products. (If you're a first-timer looking for some rookie tips, we've got a helpful guide for getting into sex toys. And if you're looking for some solo sex toys, we've got you covered there, too.) Here's why you should care about bringing sex toys into the bedroom, even if everything's [mind-exploding emoji]: because she'll enjoy herself more. A 2017 study noted that 37 percent of women need clitoral stimulation (and not just penetration) to reach the summit of Mt. Orgasm. Adding a vibrator to the mix proves you know how the female body works, and that you're as turned on by her pleasure as you are by her body. It proves you're confident, and adventurous, and an all-around thoughtful partner. (And if all this sounds more hetero than you're looking for, check out our roundup of the best sex toys for men.)
Mant of the best sex toys for couples have clitorises in mind, or incorporate some anal play (try it!). But there are more toys for penises coming onto the market every day, too. They’re available with speedy and discreet shipping from companies like Amazon and specialty retailers like Babeland and Lovehoney. Check out a variety of tested-and-proven toys—from vibrators that double as high-end jewelry to prostate pleasurers—and give your bedroom the gift of some truly earth-shattering orgasms. The Best Hands-Free Vibrator: We-Vibe Sync Many other companies have tried to riff on We-Vibe's signature C-shaped vibrator design, but the original is still the best of the best. Meant to be "worn" vaginally during intercourse, the We-Vibe stimulates both partners at once, for stellar (and possibly simultaneous) orgasms. This model has two hinges at its center, so you can adjust it to achieve your perfect fit. Image may contain: Electronics, Hardware, Computer, Mouse, Cell Phone, Mobile Phone, and Phone We-Vibe Sync
The Best Stroking Toy: Fleshlight Quickshot Fleshlight is the biggest name in the stroker game, and for good reason: the ribbed texture inside this one is ultra-stimulating. The Quickshot differs from your standard Fleshlight, though, in that it's open on both ends—which makes cleanup less messy and annoying, and also means a partner can use this toy on the base of your shaft while giving you oral sex. Image may contain: Crystal, Glass, Nature, and Outdoors Fleshlight Quickshot
Lube, lube, lube. Just like with sex, you don't need to just rely on natural lubrication to get you going. "Make sure you have plenty of lube on hand," Wright suggests. "Everyone needs it. I promise it makes everything better." The exact amount depends on whether you're using the sex toy internally or externally, but you can apply the lube directly on top of the toy or on your body. How to clean your toys. Wright recommends using a sex toy cleaner that's gentle enough for the genitals but also strong enough to get rid of bacteria. "How you clean a toy varies depending on the material that the toy is made out of. Some say gentle soap and water is fine; however, there are so many variables when it comes to the ingredients in soap that I prefer to use something I know isn't going to mess up vaginal pH." (Here's a full guide about how to exactly clean every sex toy out there.) She shares a few tips below: Store toys in a relatively temperature-controlled place to prevent bacteria growth. Don't store silicone on silicone (the same reason you don't use silicone lubricant on silicone toys; it creates microscopic holes for bacteria growth).
If something is glass or stainless steel, boil them! Especially if they're being used anally. If they're only being used vaginally and on one person, a toy cleaner will suffice. Clean the sex toy before and after use to wash away dirt, bacteria, microscopic organisms, body fluids, etc. Depending on the material of the toy, leave it out to air dry or towel dry before storage. The takeaway. Sex toys are a great way to invite fun into the bedroom, even if it does require a little bit of research and experimentation to find the best sex toys that work for you. These sex toys are a great starting point to help you fulfill your sexual needs and stay curious about what turns you on. The best part is that you don't have to stop at just one toy—you can get as many as your heart desires. Whether you’re perusing the aisles and displays at an IRL sex toy emporium or scrolling online, shopping for a sex toy can be a little overwhelming. Not only do you have to figure out what everything does, you also have to figure out if it aligns with how you like to be done.
That’s why we called on three sex toy experts (nay, connoisseurs) and asked them to give us the 411 on the main types of sex toys — all of which can be bought online. Below they explain what these sex toys do and how to know if one deserves a place in your drawer. Dildo What the heck makes a dildo, well, a dildo? According to Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy boutique Babeland, “A dildo is anything phallic-shaped, or vaguely phallic-shaped, that’s designed to penetrate a vagina, anus, or mouth.” Standard dildos Also known as single-ended dildos, standard dildos most resemble biological penises in shape and function. “There are so many internal hot spots in the body, including the G-spot and A-spot in vulva owners and P-spot in people with penises,” Finn says.
She adds that a standard dildo can be used by hand or worn in a harness to stimulate these spots. Safety note: It’s only safe to put a dildo in your bum if it has a flared base that’s bigger than the widest part of the dildo. If you’re planning on using the dildo during solo sex, Finn recommends a dildo with a suction cup base, like the Avant P1 Pride Freedom dildo. Why? Because then you can attach it to a shower wall and ride it the way you might if a partner was involved. If you’re planning to use it to peg, opt for a slim, texture-free dildo, like the Tantus Silk small (or medium) dildo. And if you’re looking for a dildo that looks like a biological penis, it doesn’t get better than New York Toy Collective’s Carter or Leroy. Textured dildos Changing the material the dildo is made out of to vary the sensation — for example, a dildo made out of stainless steel will be heavier than one made out of silicone, and therefore increase the sensation of fullness — isn’t the only way to alter the texture.
Slave HoodThere’s also a variety of textured details you might experiment with once you’ve confirmed that you enjoy dildo play or penetration. “Some have ripples or waves,” Finn says. “Some have more pronounced heads and are super veiny. Some have little textured nubs and bumps.” Double-ended dildos As you might guess, this dildo iteration features a head at both ends. Usually 12 to 24 inches long, some look like two dildos fused together (like the Lovehoney Ice Gem) and others are U-shaped (like the Ruse double dildo). “Depending on the shape, double-ended dildos allow you to experiment with double penetration either in the same hole, or in different holes, for a sense of fullness,” Finn explains, “or to experience extra-deep insertion.” Money-saving hack: You can make your own double-ended dildo with a double-sided suction cup. Strapless strap-on Sometimes the terms “strapless strap-on” and “double-ended dildo” are used interchangeably, but they’re pretty different.
While double-ended dildos are typically U- or I-shaped, strapless strap-ons are L-shaped. “Strapless strap-ons are ergonomically designed so that one partner can wear the toy and experience a sensation of fullness while also thrusting into a partner,” Finn explains. “They can also be worn by somebody who wants to jack themselves using something phallic, or receive a blow job,” she adds. Cheers to gender euphoria! Note: While the name of this toy implies you should be able to wear it harness-free, “thrusting while trying to hold the toy inside your own body is incredibly taxing on the pelvic floor muscles,” says sex educator Cassandra Corrado. “So don’t hesitate to reduce the strain by also wearing a harness over the top,” she says. The best strapless strap-on on the market is hands down — or should I say hands-free — the Fun Factory Share. Harness Standard dildos can be worn inside a harness for strap-on play. There are a few different types of harnesses, but when shopping for one the most important thing is to find one that fits.
“The harness should be really snug — or be able to be adjusted to be really snug,” Corrado says. “Whether you’re thrusting into someone else, into your own hand, or just wearing it around, you don’t want the dildo to be wiggling around,” she explains. The snugger the fit, the more control you’ll have over the attachable phallus. Strap-on style Decked out in straps, this type of harness is super-duper adjustable, which means you can make it tighter against your body. “SpareParts is the gold standard of the strap-on harnesses. They look cute, have incredible holding power, and come in a variety of styles,” Corrado says. Thong-style strap-ons, like the Roadster harness, have a strap that goes between the legs and are generally more comfortable for folks with vulvas. Jockstrap-style strap-ons, like the SpareParts Joques, feature straps around each of the butt cheeks and the waist. “[This style] basically gives your butt a butt lift,” Corrado says.
Necktie BlindfoldThere’s also double-strap strap-ons, which are designed to be worn by people with penises. There’s a hole for the penis and a second one for the base of the dildo. These are a great option for double-penetration play and for penis owners with erectile dysfunction. Best on the market: SpareParts Deuce. Underwear-style “You can also find harnesses that look like boxers or briefs and even thongs,” Corrado says. “They’re great for people who want to wear a harness under their clothes, and those who want to wear them to pack,” she says. Corrado recommends anything from the brand Rodeoh, as it’s usually more sturdy than other underwear-style harnesses on the market and home to a million different styles. Bondage harnesses Beyond harnesses for strap-on sex, there are also body harnesses that are commonly seen in the BDSM and kink scene. Some types you might see:
chest harness collar harness full-body harness External vibrator Does it vibrate? Is it intended to be used outside the body? Then — ding, ding, ding — it’s an external vibrator. And boy oh boy are there a lot of different types of external vibes. “All external vibrators are great products,” says sex educator and sex toy reviewer Indigo Wolfe. “It comes down to figuring out which is the most great for you, based on what you enjoy sexually.” Use the chart below to figure out what subcategory of external vibrator is best for you. Type of external vibrator What it does that’s special Our pick Palm vibrator Shaped like a computer mouse, these are ergonomically designed to cover the vulva and stimulate your labia and clit. Le Wand Point Jewelry vibrator These multitasking vibes can be worn (as jewelry) and adored (as clit vibrators). Vesper Crave Panty vibrator Surprise: These clip into your panties for hands-free clitoral stimulation at home, or at a restaurant. We-Vibe Moxie Wand vibrator Shaped like microphones, wand vibrators have a bulbous head that’s designed to deliver super intense, rumbly vibrations anywhere on the body (external genitals, back, butt cheeks, etc.). Magic Wand
Finger vibrator These small vibes slide onto or sit between two digits so you can bring your hands between your legs to enjoy the vibration. Dame Fin Bullet vibrator About the size of a battery, bullet vibrators provide buzzy, low-intensity vibration to your bits. They fit inside most harnesses to give the strap-on wearer stimulus. Unbound Zip Clitoral vibrator This category has no limits! Really, anything that can stimulate the clit qualifies. When shopping for your own clit vibe, think about what shape might work best for your anatomy. Dame Eva II Vibrating penis ring Vibrating cock rings slide over the penis and offer stimulation to the scrotum or a partner’s clit during P-in-V. Lelo Tor 2 Penis vibrator Penis vibrators are designed specifically to fit over, or encase, the cock with vibration. Mysteryvibe Tenuto Internal vibrator Do you enjoy having your bum hole penetrated? How about your front hole, if you have one? If the answer is Y-E-S to either, it’s time to add an internal vibrator to your sex toy collection. The exact type of internal vibrator you purchase will depend on what type of sensation you like internally.